You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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