This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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