Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
