A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
