why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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