You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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