are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
