just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
