I can text with my tongue
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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