He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
