so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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