Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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