He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
where am i from again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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