Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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