In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
