so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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