when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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