we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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