Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
