in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
