Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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