I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
