Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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