dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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