I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
