I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
