Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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