it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
