i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
