Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
