My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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