Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you never un-have a 4some
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
