i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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