I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
