I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
