Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
