Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
