Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
