is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize