there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i think i have herpe
just one?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize