U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
