i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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