I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
