Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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