I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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