went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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