Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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