you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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