She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
