I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
