O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
