so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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