So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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