your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
