Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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