my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
is it fun? or sober?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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