i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
