Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
