I'm lost and stupid without you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
