A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
